HyperHobo

I don’t like Walmart. It is a simple fact of life. People do not like Walmart. It is useful, sometimes cheap, but while you may shop there, searching for the lost treasures of ancient Mayan kings, you don’t like it. Some people, I have heard, do like shopping at Walmart, but these people CANNOT BE TRUSTED! If you are one of these people STAY AWAY! I HAVE RECENTLY TAKEN UP SELF DEFENSE CLASSES AND I BOUGHT SOME PEPPER SPRAY AT WALMART SO STAY AWAY OR ELSE! Anyway, unlike most people who dislike Walmarts, I have a list of reasons I dislike Walmart which makes it okay! Okay, yeah, most of these probably apply only to our local Walmart

I had a ham sandwich for lunch today. Many, sadly, do not know how to make a delicious sandwich, ham or otherwise, which is why I am here, now, at this point, currently, in time and space. While some of you digest that sentence the smarter ones among us will move on to the instructions of how to make a sandwich to digest with the body, not the mind. And I’ve just confused myself. What? Digest… Sandwich… Body… Comma… Never mind all that. It is time to forge SANDWICHSMITHS from you lowly NOTSANDWICHSMITHS! Hurry my pupils, fetch the following supplies: a plate, a butter knife, and that is actually about it. ONWARD! 1.

I went to the dentist’s office recently. I don’t like going to the dentist. You could say I hate going to the dentist. In fact, we will say I hate going to the dentist. I hate going to the dentist. I hate going to the dentist with a passion. I hate going to the dentist like large chunks of the American populous. I also hate the fact that I’ve said “going to the dentist” repeatedly because it makes what I’m writing extremely repetitive, but the purpose of this piece is about going to the dentist and it will suffice. The first thing that confronts me when I step out of the minivan is the door. Yes, a minivan, shu